Kevin Menezes

Loved and Saved by God alone to Love and Serve God alone.


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Marriage: You Said ‘Yes’

​Let me break this down for the benefit of people who really need to hear this.

MARRIAGE is a COMMITMENT. 

– You are supposed to go to work

– You are supposed to put bread on the table

– You are supposed to take care of your wife and kids  

– You are supposed to fix things around the house

– You are supposed to take out the trash 

– You are supposed to mend broken toys and broken hearts

– You are supposed to hug and kiss it all away

And you are supposed to do all of that again and again in good times and bad, sickness and health until the very end… 
Because you promised you would, remember? So don’t act like you are doing your wife and kids a favour. 

And parenting is more than just putting food on the table. It is about love, it’s about holding hands and holding hearts, it’s about nurturing, mentoring and being there every time your child needs you. If you can’t do that then don’t bother having kids. 
If you wanted to do your own thing you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. 
What’s the benefit of having you around? What’s so special about you? How does having you for a dad benefit your kids? Do you bring peace and joy into the lives of the people you claim to love, or do you bring trauma? What do people get when they get you?
How you treat your wife and kids says a lot about you. Anyone who does not take care of his family has denied the faith and should not expect God to answer his prayers at all. Don’t expect God to do for you what you won’t do for your own wife and kids.

Now, if you agree with everything I said here, and you’ve tried to straighten things out, but you just can’t seem to get it right no matter how hard you try, you need help. You need to splay yourself before the God of all creation and beg for help. Change always begins with repentance. Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened.


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Nothing Is Free — Not Even PORN

Nothing in this world is free. Take  PORN, for example. If you think you can watch it endlessly and there is absolutely no price to pay, you are absolutely wrong. In fact, all of the devils wares — porn, drugs , alcohol — have a far higher price than money. The price is your LIFE.

Porn grows on you. First, it will suck up all your free time — you’ll become a loner, preferring to spend all your free time in the dark rather than the LIGHT. Then, it will slowly start contaminating your relationships. As you keep watching more and more porn, you’ll find yourself angrier, more abusive than ever before. If you are already addicted and hoping for a happy married life, FORGET IT! It’s NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

The reason porn subconsciously makes people angry is because porn is extremely violent. And you carry it everyhere with you — even to your marriage bed.

The real reason people hooked on porn don’t enjoy intimacy in marriage is because they are not really Making Love. Everything they do in bed is devoid of emotions, feelings, etc…they are just acting out what they saw on the screen, and they’ve defiled the sacredness of the marriage bed by bringing too many people to bed with them.

A friend of mine recently confided that her husband frequently hurts her in bed and doesn’t stop even when she protests. That’s because while she thinks he is with her, in his mind he is with somebody else. It is all about the act. And because it is just about the act, when it is over, it is really over. Because lust always runs out. Love, on the other hand, is Eternal. 

The dominant force in your marriage should always be LOVE, not lust. Married couples in love do exactly the same things in bed that people acting on lust do. But the first is a very intimate, powerful and fulfilling experience, while the other is just an empty act. In fact, people acting out on lust are almost always more miserable later.

So, whether you watch porn endlessly or just once in a while, remember there is a PRICE to pay. You are NOT watching it for free, you are watching it on credit. And the EMIs go on for the rest of your life.

I also guarantee that if you want to break your porn addiction and start over again, you won’t be able to. Try it and see. You’ll stop for a while and then start again…because the devil’s tentacles run deep. He didn’t give you all that free stuff so you could simply pack up and leave when you are done. He wants your very soul.

The only ONE who can free you from all your addictions and afflictions is GOD. If you are stuck and you can’t get out, you are looking for JESUS. REPENT of your sins and call out to Him. He will answer.

If you are still undecided about the consequences of watching porn, watch this: https://youtu.be/cQR4FF6qLBk


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Spot the Right Guy; Marry Him

2015-09-04-17-03-17-1If you are dreaming of marriage and happily ever after, choose a righteous man (someone who really loves God) over someone who is just plain religious. Confused? Let me sort this out for you.

Men who make a great show of their religion are usually also very obtuse, fanatical and obstinate – not to mention boring. (Think Pharisees, the ISIS, the other right wing terror groups and you get the picture.) Such men are willing to kill and be killed for their religion. You don’t want to be stuck with someone like that.

A man who really loves God will love everyone made in His image. He has no issues with anybody. He has no enemies. Such a man avoids conflict and is actually a peacemaker because He realizes that God can fight his own battles. He understands that God is sovereign and does not need a man’s help to accomplish anything. His happiness is rooted in the confidence that if God wants something done, He can get it done all by Himself. He therefore gets out the way and let’s God handle His business.

A righteous man understands that God is looking for spiritual fruit NOT religious nuts. So, he stops acting like he has the last word on God, he stops advising God about what should be done, and instead focuses his energies on what God expects a man to do. He busies himself doing good, helping the poor, feeding the hungry, and above all caring for his wife and family. He is thankful because he knows life is a gift and he values it – not just his own but also the life of others. He lives to the fullest and enjoys every moment.

If you find a man like that, marry him.


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Let Go

If you think you are busy now, wait till you get married. And if you think there aren’t enough hours in a day to do all that you want, wait till you have kids.

The biggest drain on marriages is that couples hardly have time for each other once the kids arrive on the scene. But here’s what i learnt:

Your firstborn should never take the place of your first love. After all, you did not marry for kids, remember? You married for love. Your kid(s) are a byproduct of that love.

Also, your relationship as a couple and your responsibilities as parents are two different things. You should not interlink the two.   You didnt marry your man because he was an experienced father; you married him because of how he made you feel, right? Besides, nobody is born with a degree in parenting. We all make mistakes. We learn on the job.

It is enough for me to know that my wife loves the kids as much as i do (possibly more) and she is doing her best. That is good enough.

So, next time you are tempted to be critical, i suggest you cut your spouse some slack. And instead of giving your spouse a hard time about their parenting skills, I suggest you just love them for who they really are. Because if you look up close, you’ll find someone trying just as hard to make it work.

Life is tough. Don’t make it harder. LET GO. Do it for your spouse. Do it for the kids. Do it for yourself.


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Small Beginnings

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When I married Sharel in April 2009, I started below zero. I renounced the comforts of my parents’ home and the few possessions I had because when I read the scripture: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”, I interpreted it literally.

The day before I got married, I left my home with just one suitcase. Sharel did the same. For the first few weeks as a married couple, we lived out of our suitcases, trusting everything else to divine providence. We did not have much of anything, except for each other and our faith in God.

Today, we live with our two wonderful children in our own 2 bedroom home. We have everything we need and everything we want.

I learnt through my own experience that God honours those who honour Him and blesses those who obey His commands. I believe God meant for all of us to take His word literally. I also learnt that we should never despise small beginnings. This is my testimony. This is what God did for me. And I am ever so grateful.


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Kids: Your Responsibility | Your Reward

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I got a call from an e-learning institute yesterday. They wanted to know if I’d be interested in enrolling my son for any of their “special” courses.

Well, not really,” I responded, “coz my son is just three-and-a-half.

“Well, sir, this course is for kids 6 months and above,” the woman on the phone  explained.

“Um, okay. Not interested.”

“But why?! We’ll teach your child to read, write, and it will be a very engaging experience for him. Most importantly, his IQ will improve significantly,” she persisted.

“Well, I am sure your course is as good as you claim it is, but I am not very keen to raise my son’s IQ at this age. And as far as reading and writing go, I am sure he’ll pick it up when the time is right.”

“That is true, sir, but your son won’t have a competitive advantage,” she corrected me.

“Well, ma’am, I understand where you are coming from. But I am going in a completely different direction with regard to how kids should be raised. I am not eager to have my son compete with other kids in any sort of rat race. At his age, I’d rather he just enjoy being a child.”

She finally got the message and hung up. But the gist of what she said lingered in my mind. Was I being unfair to my kid by not letting him gain any sort of advantage in a competitive world? I debated that in my mind for a while and discussed it with my wife when I got back home. We had decided long ago that we wouldn’t let our children be sucked into the rat race like we were. We decided to stick with that.

I am not at all undermining the value of education—yes, it is important. However, the school can only teach a child about the world around him. It is a parent’s responsibility to show a child how to live and breathe and walk confidently in that world. We parents have the power to influence our child’s character, his thoughts and views positively. However, we only have a small window of opportunity to do that. Once that window closes, it is hard to open it again. Then, the world takes over. Whatever a child absorbs at a young age remains with him forever. That’s why the Bible advises: “Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

There are two lasting gifts you can give your kids: one is wings, the other is roots. Your decisions today will shape your child’s tomorrow. Give your child the best education you possibly can. But please remember that education is not a substitute for good character. Education may help your child earn a lot of money, but it may not help him spend it wisely. Education may help your child land a good job and find a good spouse, but it cannot guarantee a happy life or a happy marriage. In my personal opinion, character formation is the primary duty of every parent. These are your kids. Don’t expect the school or anybody else to raise them up for you. They are your responsibility. And if you raise them well, they will be your reward.

Want your kids to be special? Be a special parent.


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The Most Romantic Guy Ever…

When you think about the Bible, romance is probably the last thing that comes to mind. But the Bible has something for everyone–even diehard romantics.

Take the story of Hannah for instance. Her husband, Elkanah, the father of Samuel, is by far the most romantic character in the Bible.

Here’s the story.

Hannah desperately wants to have a child with her husband. After all, a little child that embodies attributes of both the father and mother is the strongest declaration that “the two of us are one”.

I can understand Hannah’s desperation. Back in the day, women who could not conceive were ostracized by society. They would be treated badly, even by their own family.

But our man Elkanah was of a different breed. When he saw how upset Hannah was, he took her in his arms, held her tear-stained face in his hands, looked deep into her eyes, wiped her tears away, kissed her on the cheeks and whispered, “Why so sad, pretty face? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”

Okay, he did not exactly say that. But he said something exactly like that. (Look up 1 Samuel 1 for exact details.) In any case, in my opinion, that’s like the most romantic line in the Bible.

Unlike the men of his time, Elkanah does not blame Hannah for not bearing children for him. Instead, he comforts her saying, “Don’t fret about it, sweetheart. Don’t worry about what the world says. We’ve got each other. And that’s all we need.”

This guy is a man after my own heart. He loves his wife and treats her the way all women ought to be treated – with love and respect.

I think God likes that in a man too. And therefore when God finally blesses Hannah, He is in essence blessing Elkanah too. Guess how many kids they have? Not one, not two, not three, not four…they have six.

I can almost envision Hannah surrounded by her little tots, beaming from ear to ear….with Elkanah right there with his arms around her. So realistically romantic.