Kevin Menezes

Loved and Saved by God alone to Love and Serve God alone.


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No War!

​Isn’t it ironic that we pray for innocent kids caught in the quagmire of violence and destruction in Syria, Iraq and other war-torn regions and then push for war in our own backyard? 

Make no mistake, folks. War ain’t pretty. Nobody really wins a war. And what is happening in Syria and Iraq could happen in our own neighborhood too. 

The only reason nations go to war is because it is good business. Every year weapons worth billions of dollars are bought and sold all over world in the name of SAFETY and SECURITY. Peace is not good for business…because nobody buys weapons in peace time.

Think about it. You didn’t get up this morning wanting to kill anyone. You just want to go about your day, take care of yourself and your family without bothering anyone. You’d be happy to help anyone if you could. Because you are good. And guess what? There are millions of people like you everywhere, Even Across The Border. They want to live in harmony, help someone in need if they can. They want to do good. They want to take care of their families. They want to finish their work, eat their food, and go to bed. They don’t want to bother anyone. They just want to live in peace.

There are innocent kids on both sides of the border. Good men and women who wouldn’t even hurt a fly. Let’s not play into the hands of those who incite violence and hatred for PROFIT.

All of this war-mongering by political establishments in both India and Pakistan, this 24/7 coverage of spy-pigeons and what-have-you by the media is nothing but baloney. Politicians do this for a living because they don’t have any other job, remember? And most of them, as we know, are thugs and crooks. Violence comes naturally to them. 

The media is also doing this because they finally have one more thing to harp on about. If they didn’t endlessly report on the conflict and who said what and create controversies where none exist, what would be left for them to do? They are doing this because it’s the only job they have. And they are going to milk it for all it is worth.

Yes, there are bad people in the world. And we must fight them and bring them to justice when we find them. But how do you justify war and the killing of thousands of people as retribution of the actions of one or two individuals.

Imagine this. Someone with your last name blows himself up in one part of the country while you are busy going about your day. Suddenly, you find yourself surrounded by a mob wanting kill you and your family in revenge. Would that be fair? You didn’t even know that guy. You didn’t ask him to blow himself up. And yet you are paying the price. Is it fair?

Well, when we shout WAR against an entire nation as retribution for the actions of a few crazy men, We Become That Mob. 

You see the accompanying picture? Do you see the trauma in those kids’ eyes? When we shout WAR, we are basically telling our government we don’t care about innocent kids and civilians. Let’s add a few more to the list. 

Because we presume that this will not happen to our kids. But war is war. Once you light the match, you cant control where the fire will burn. 

Look at the picture again. Is this what we really want? 

In the US, the very politicians who voted ‘Yes’ for the war in Iraq are now trying to prove they were always against the war. Why? Because they don’t want to be held accountable for the devastating consequences.  
It’s for good folk like us to decide what is good and what is bad. We must determine for ourselves what makes sense and what does not. 

Personally, I don’t want any child dying anywhere in the world for me….just so that I can feel happy and safe. 

War ain’t pretty. And it is not the patriotic thing to do either. It’s just good business. And I want no part of it. The blood of innocent children won’t be upon me.

I stand for reason. 

I stand for peace. 


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Family Fights: You Lose Even When You Win

​The only battle you’ll never win is the one you fight against your own family. Any man who verbally, emotionally, physically or psychologically beats his own wife, kids or parents down and expects to win is a fool because when they lose, YOU LOSE.   

Jesus said, “a house divided against itself shall not stand” because fights within the family are like cancer. The real reason cancer is so deadly is because it’s not caused by an external virus or bacteria. It’s an internal fight. Cancer is basically your body fighting you. It’s like a civil war breaking out inside you. You can only survive when the fighting stops. 

So, what you really need is for everyone connected to you to be winning everything — all the time. That’s why you’ve got to take the high road and walk away from some fights. They are really not worth your time and energy because even if you win, you still lose. The Bible says “anger rests in the bosom of fools” and “avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarrelling.”

Basically, God is asking you to be wise and stop fighting against everybody and yourself.


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Marriage: You Said ‘Yes’

​Let me break this down for the benefit of people who really need to hear this.

MARRIAGE is a COMMITMENT. 

– You are supposed to go to work

– You are supposed to put bread on the table

– You are supposed to take care of your wife and kids  

– You are supposed to fix things around the house

– You are supposed to take out the trash 

– You are supposed to mend broken toys and broken hearts

– You are supposed to hug and kiss it all away

And you are supposed to do all of that again and again in good times and bad, sickness and health until the very end… 
Because you promised you would, remember? So don’t act like you are doing your wife and kids a favour. 

And parenting is more than just putting food on the table. It is about love, it’s about holding hands and holding hearts, it’s about nurturing, mentoring and being there every time your child needs you. If you can’t do that then don’t bother having kids. 
If you wanted to do your own thing you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. 
What’s the benefit of having you around? What’s so special about you? How does having you for a dad benefit your kids? Do you bring peace and joy into the lives of the people you claim to love, or do you bring trauma? What do people get when they get you?
How you treat your wife and kids says a lot about you. Anyone who does not take care of his family has denied the faith and should not expect God to answer his prayers at all. Don’t expect God to do for you what you won’t do for your own wife and kids.

Now, if you agree with everything I said here, and you’ve tried to straighten things out, but you just can’t seem to get it right no matter how hard you try, you need help. You need to splay yourself before the God of all creation and beg for help. Change always begins with repentance. Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened.


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God, the Devil, and Adenoids

One of the biggest crisis I faced as a father is watching my 3-year-old suffer from an illness that neither the doctors nor I could explain. Every night, I watched my otherwise happy-go-lucky and playful child toss and turn in his bed and then inexplicably start coughing and coughing till neither he nor we could sleep. The countless sleepless nights took a toll on my son’s health and my sanity.

We visited more doctors then I can remember. All of them said the same thing: “Your son is fine, but he suffering from an allergy that apparently only flares up at night.” But none of them could tell me what he was allergic to. One doctor said this, the other doctor said that. Homeopathy, Allopathy – we tried it all. Nothing worked.

My son’s illness strained my marriage too. I would come home from work at the end of the day and sit down for dinner with my wife, talking about all the things that couples talk about. But then suddenly my son would have one of his coughing bouts and all romance would fly off the window. It’s hard to be romantic or anything else when your child is sick.

In my desperate search for the mystery allergen, I started de-cluttering the house – I changed the upholstery, rugs, carpets… We changed food brands and tried new diets every week. I lost countless hours chasing appointments in different hospitals around the city. I spent thousands on medicines. I considered everything there was to consider. I even considered changing my house.

I also struggled with God. And I waged warfare on the devil. I prayed and prayed and fasted and prayed some more, searching for an answer. Exasperated, one day, I sat in my car and let out a loud scream and then cried all the way back from work. When I got back home around midnight, I pulled out my Bible, sat next to my son, who was fast asleep and read the Book of Psalms out aloud until morning. After months – no years – of praying and fasting, I finally got my breakthrough. The answer was one word – ADENOIDS.

Adenoids are lymph tissues that sit in the upper airway between the nose and the back of the throat. They are similar to tonsils and help the body prevent or fight infections by trapping bacteria and germs. However, prolonged allergies and infections can cause the adenoids themselves to become swollen. Enlarged and inflamed adenoids can make breathing difficult, disrupt sleep and lead to recurring respiratory infections.

Turns out, this is a fairly common problem, especially among preschool kids. The remedy is to either treat the adenoids through medication or, as a last resort, have them taken out surgically. Sometimes, tonsils and adenoids are removed at the same time. I discovered that both of these are common surgeries for kids to have.

Once I found out what the problem was, I spent all my free time researching about adenoids. I obviously didn’t want my son to have his adenoids taken out through surgery, which is what most exasperated parents do. To me, that’s like taking out the engine alarm light in your car when it warns you that the engine is overheating. The alarm light is NOT the problem; it only tells you there is a problem, and taking it out won’t cool the engine. By that same token, if an allergy is causing your child’s adenoids to swell, you should not rush to have the adenoids or tonsils taken out. The adenoids are NOT the problem; they only indicate that there is problem — in my son’s case, an allergy.

Anyways, after lots of praying, fasting and reading, I finally discovered that my son was allergic to dairy products. Kids allergic to milk?! Who would have thought! But that’s what it was. In fact, nearly 70-80% of childhood allergies are in some way or the other related to food. Why is that so? I don’t know, but I am guessing it is all about balance. When you have too much of one thing in your diet, the balance is broken and the body’s alarm signals go off. If you ignore the signals, you could end up with major diseases such as diabetes, high blood pressure, hypertension, heart ailments, stroke, cancer, etc. So, it’s best to maintain a balance in everything, especially your diet.

I thank God for bringing me through the biggest crisis I faced as a father. I also learned an important lesson: Prayer is our best line of defense, but you cannot always pray everything away. You need spiritual answers for spiritual issues and natural solutions for natural problems. For instance, you may be a praying man, but if your house was burning, you would do better to get a bucket of water first instead of sitting down and praying about it. Prayer does, however, open the eyes of our understanding and allows for God to point us in the right direction. That’s why we must never stop praying.

Screenshot_2016-05-04-20-27-33So, does this mean that sometimes even God is powerless to help? Of course, Not! On the contrary, He can do far beyond our wildest imagination. I have personally benefited from divine healing and protection on countless occasions. I was suffering from sinusitis and a dislocated shoulder for years. I was healed of both by simply entering a place of worship — I had not even begun to pray; i just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

Um, if God can heal people just like that, why did He not heal your son? Good question. Look at it this way. If a smoker contracts lung cancer and God healed him, what would be the incentive for this man to stop smoking. Chances are he would contract the same disease again. Sometimes, God does not heal people right away because He wants them to wake up to what’s killing them. If God had healed my son right away, chances are I would continue giving him the same things that caused his adenoids to swell.

Anyways, to cut the long story short, we sleep well now. My son’s health is the best it has been in years. Most importantly, he did not lose any body parts. In my opinion, surgery is the prerogative of the busy and the rich. My heart grieves for children whose are parents are so busy that they completely miss all the red signals till it is too late. Oftentimes, these kids suffer from minor medical issues, but have to undergo major surgeries just because their parents were too busy to sit down, think and pray about what needed to be done.

This post is a shout-out to all parents considering a tonsillectomy or an adenoidectomy. Before you put your child under the surgical knife, I suggest you take a closer look at what your kid is eating. Try cutting out dairy products from his diet for about three weeks. Also, cut out processed and junk food, especially spicy and fried foods. We tried it and it’s worked wonders for us.

Last but not the least: Don’t forget to pray.


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Roll Out the Red Carpet!

My most ardent prayer today is that all children find love, peace and security in their own homes.

Although I never asked God for children, I rolled out the Red Carpet for them as soon as my wife conceived. I told my wife Sharel no child of ours will enter this world without a warm welcome from their father. I am their greatest cheerleader, one man welcoming committee, mentor, counsellor, friend, etc, etc all rolled into one.

It is really tragic that some men (and women) disown their kids and their responsibilities towards them even before they are born. I decided long ago that I would never disrespect God, my wife or myself by doing that. Children are a real blessing from God, and because they embody attributes of both the father and the mother, they are also the strongest declaration of your love — that the two of you are indeed one.

Think about it, guys. If we don’t welcome our own children into our lives, then who will? I can’t understand dudes who keep whining and blaming their wives for everything, from the timing of conception to the gender of the child.

Science has now proved that it is the gender of a child is determined by the father alone. If you give your wife an X chromosome it will be a girl; if you give her a Y chromosome it will be a boy. A woman has absolutely no say in the matter. So quit complaining and leave her alone. If you are man enough to make a baby, then also be man enough to take responsibility for your actions and stand up for your wife and kids.

How would you feel if you had to enter a place where no one wanted you? No child should have to go through that. What you want to hear instead is, “Don’t worry about a thing. Everything is taken care of. Just come. We’ll make you as comfortable as you can ever be. It may not be heaven, but it’ll be closest thing to heaven on earth. Come on over. We are waiting for you. We have you covered.”

Well, if that’s what you want to hear wherever you go, then that’s what you should be saying too.

Don’t go chasing after God, asking Him to bless you more if you haven’t learned how to handle what you have already been given with dignity and poise. If you reject your kids, you are rejecting God’s most generous endowment. And if you disown them, God will disown you.


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War & The Butterfly Effect

Five years of civil war has torn Syria apart. Countless lives have been lost, families ripped apart, childhoods snatched, the economy destroyed. Syrians are finding out the hard way that in war there are no victors — everybody loses.

Funny thing is what’s happening in Syria and Iraq could happen anywhere in the world, even in our neighborhood. That’s why we must always strive for peace. But how do we do that? Can a handful of people thousands of miles away from the epicenter of conflict bring world peace? The answer is YES.

Have you heard of the Butterfly Effect?

The Butterfly Effect is the notion that the tiny flutter of a butterfly’s wings can cause a tornado on the other side of the world. In other words, if you change even the smallest of life’s details, you completely change its outcome. That means everything we say and do can affect our surroundings and the world at large for either good or bad.

Consider Jesus, for example. Jesus was just one man. He spent his whole life in and around Israel, moving within a 200 km radius. Yet, what he said and did 2000 years ago has affected billions of lives across the centuries and continues to do so to this very day. 

By that logic, all of us – even you – can do your bit to bring increase peace. Yes you — as small and insignificant as you may think you are — you can bring world peace.

How?!

Start with your OWN home.

Try your best to keep your spouse, your kids and parents happy. Love your wife and remain true to her. Respect your parents. Be nice to your kids.

Your spouse and kids will carry the ripple effect of what you achieved at home to their workplace and school, positively impacting the people they hang out with. You can start something good at home that will circle the globe several times.

Be good, do good. If all of us did just one thing to make our home a happier place, we would not have any wars anywhere in the world.

War looks good in movies, but sucks in real life. That’s why the Bible exhorts us: “never pay back evil for evil. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. (And) if possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” (Romans 12:17,18). It commands us to “make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; (for) without holiness no one will see the Lord.” (Hebrews 12:14)

What goes around, come around. If you do not strive for peace, you WILL reap war and everything that war brings – death, desolation, poverty, misery. Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7).

So, if you really love your family, your wife and kids, and you want them to be safe, strive for peace. Remember, great wars start from little wars — often kindled at home. Great peace also starts at home — often with a smile.


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What Goes Around Comes Around

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I was watching TV recently and there was this little kid on a talent show who was so petrified of disappointing his parents that he begged and pleaded with the judges to let him through to the next round. My heart grieves for kids like that. Children should never have to bear the price for their parents’ misplaced priorities. I, for one, am actively trying to shield my kids from the rat race that awaits everyone who wants to run.

And I am putting my money where my mouth is. When it was time to enroll Moshe, my firstborn, in school and everyone advised me to enroll him in one board so that he would have a “competitive advantage”, I nodded my head and then went and did the exact opposite.

Why?

Well, I don’t want my son to spend the best years of his life stressing about learning things that won’t help him one bit when he grows up. I’d rather he just enjoy being a child. We all get only one childhood, right?

People need to realize that education is not a substitute for good character. I have seen educated idiots and I have seen “successful” jerks. The education business and talent shows that decide a child’s worth based on the externals can take their fancy degrees and trophies and shove it.

Want to be part of the rat race? Be my guest. Keep driving your kids nuts by having them chase plastic degrees and fancy job titles till they are so worked up they turn to drugs and alcohol. What goes around, come around. One day, your misadventures will surely come back to haunt you. Then, you’ll wish you had invested more in your child’s emotional well-being rather than focus purely on academics and other externals.

As for me, I’d rather my sons know who God is and where true blessings really come from. I’d rather they learn how to be happy in a twisted world, instead of learning what the capital of Mongolia is. I don’t want my sons to have a competitive advantage…in fact, I don’t want them to compete at all. With good grades, without good grades, they are just as precious. And they will always be.

And in case you really want to know, the capital of Mongolia is Ulan Bator.