Kevin Menezes

Loved and Saved by God alone to Love and Serve God alone.


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I, Me and Jesus

​Okay, let’s see if you got this. 

I’ve got three multiple choice questions here. All you have to do is pick the right answer. Ready? Go!

1. WE SHOULD BE GENEROUS BECAUSE…

a) The Bible says God loves a cheerful giver

b) If you give God one dollar, He will give you 10

c) It will help the person you are being generous to

2. WE SHOULD NOT GOSSIP ABOUT OTHERS BECAUSE…

a) The Bible says it is not good to slander

b) It will make God upset 

c) It hurts the person you are gossiping about

3. YOU SHOULD NOT PRESSURE YOUR GIRLFRIEND FOR SEX BECAUSE…

a) The Bible says thou shall not commit adultery

b) If you do something bad to others, something bad will happen to you

c) Because it is not good to give others any cause for regret

Okay, here’s the deal….

On the face of it, it is seems like all of the answers are right. But if you look closely at the A’s and the B’s, the reasons listed there are very self-centered. 

This is how a self-centered person thinks: “The reason why I should be generous is because God loves it and (I) want to be right with God. I should not gossip because (I) don’t want God to be upset with (ME).

It’s all about (I) and (Me). 

In truth, there is nothing wrong with trying to please God, but the essence of what Jesus was trying to say when He said “love your neighbor as yourself” is that it is really difficult to really love anyone if you have a ME mentality. 

The idea that we can hurt people, coerce them to do things that are against their will and yet somehow please God by lighting candles or performing fancy rituals is totally twisted. You cannot be right with God if you treat people wrong.

Think about it. If someone speaks nicely to you but treats your kids rudely, would you be pleased with that person? 

Nope! 

But if they treat your kids with love and affection, you would be happy to do anything for them, right? 

It’s the same with God. If you want to please God you must treat all His children well. 

That’s why the Bible says those who claim to love God but hate their fellow human beings are lying. God wants us to be mindful of people and treat everyone with respect. 

– You should be generous because it helps the person you are being generous to. 

– You should not gossip because it hurts people. 

– You should not pressure your girlfriend or anyone to do anything they don’t want to do because it is not right to mar anyone’s future and give them cause for regret. 

That’s how you love your neighbor as yourself. That’s how you make a better world for everyone. That’s how you please God. 


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Family Fights: You Lose Even When You Win

​The only battle you’ll never win is the one you fight against your own family. Any man who verbally, emotionally, physically or psychologically beats his own wife, kids or parents down and expects to win is a fool because when they lose, YOU LOSE.   

Jesus said, “a house divided against itself shall not stand” because fights within the family are like cancer. The real reason cancer is so deadly is because it’s not caused by an external virus or bacteria. It’s an internal fight. Cancer is basically your body fighting you. It’s like a civil war breaking out inside you. You can only survive when the fighting stops. 

So, what you really need is for everyone connected to you to be winning everything — all the time. That’s why you’ve got to take the high road and walk away from some fights. They are really not worth your time and energy because even if you win, you still lose. The Bible says “anger rests in the bosom of fools” and “avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarrelling.”

Basically, God is asking you to be wise and stop fighting against everybody and yourself.


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Marriage: You Said ‘Yes’

​Let me break this down for the benefit of people who really need to hear this.

MARRIAGE is a COMMITMENT. 

– You are supposed to go to work

– You are supposed to put bread on the table

– You are supposed to take care of your wife and kids  

– You are supposed to fix things around the house

– You are supposed to take out the trash 

– You are supposed to mend broken toys and broken hearts

– You are supposed to hug and kiss it all away

And you are supposed to do all of that again and again in good times and bad, sickness and health until the very end… 
Because you promised you would, remember? So don’t act like you are doing your wife and kids a favour. 

And parenting is more than just putting food on the table. It is about love, it’s about holding hands and holding hearts, it’s about nurturing, mentoring and being there every time your child needs you. If you can’t do that then don’t bother having kids. 
If you wanted to do your own thing you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. 
What’s the benefit of having you around? What’s so special about you? How does having you for a dad benefit your kids? Do you bring peace and joy into the lives of the people you claim to love, or do you bring trauma? What do people get when they get you?
How you treat your wife and kids says a lot about you. Anyone who does not take care of his family has denied the faith and should not expect God to answer his prayers at all. Don’t expect God to do for you what you won’t do for your own wife and kids.

Now, if you agree with everything I said here, and you’ve tried to straighten things out, but you just can’t seem to get it right no matter how hard you try, you need help. You need to splay yourself before the God of all creation and beg for help. Change always begins with repentance. Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened.


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God, the Devil, and Adenoids

One of the biggest crisis I faced as a father is watching my 3-year-old suffer from an illness that neither the doctors nor I could explain. Every night, I watched my otherwise happy-go-lucky and playful child toss and turn in his bed and then inexplicably start coughing and coughing till neither he nor we could sleep. The countless sleepless nights took a toll on my son’s health and my sanity.

We visited more doctors then I can remember. All of them said the same thing: “Your son is fine, but he suffering from an allergy that apparently only flares up at night.” But none of them could tell me what he was allergic to. One doctor said this, the other doctor said that. Homeopathy, Allopathy – we tried it all. Nothing worked.

My son’s illness strained my marriage too. I would come home from work at the end of the day and sit down for dinner with my wife, talking about all the things that couples talk about. But then suddenly my son would have one of his coughing bouts and all romance would fly off the window. It’s hard to be romantic or anything else when your child is sick.

In my desperate search for the mystery allergen, I started de-cluttering the house – I changed the upholstery, rugs, carpets… We changed food brands and tried new diets every week. I lost countless hours chasing appointments in different hospitals around the city. I spent thousands on medicines. I considered everything there was to consider. I even considered changing my house.

I also struggled with God. And I waged warfare on the devil. I prayed and prayed and fasted and prayed some more, searching for an answer. Exasperated, one day, I sat in my car and let out a loud scream and then cried all the way back from work. When I got back home around midnight, I pulled out my Bible, sat next to my son, who was fast asleep and read the Book of Psalms out aloud until morning. After months – no years – of praying and fasting, I finally got my breakthrough. The answer was one word – ADENOIDS.

Adenoids are lymph tissues that sit in the upper airway between the nose and the back of the throat. They are similar to tonsils and help the body prevent or fight infections by trapping bacteria and germs. However, prolonged allergies and infections can cause the adenoids themselves to become swollen. Enlarged and inflamed adenoids can make breathing difficult, disrupt sleep and lead to recurring respiratory infections.

Turns out, this is a fairly common problem, especially among preschool kids. The remedy is to either treat the adenoids through medication or, as a last resort, have them taken out surgically. Sometimes, tonsils and adenoids are removed at the same time. I discovered that both of these are common surgeries for kids to have.

Once I found out what the problem was, I spent all my free time researching about adenoids. I obviously didn’t want my son to have his adenoids taken out through surgery, which is what most exasperated parents do. To me, that’s like taking out the engine alarm light in your car when it warns you that the engine is overheating. The alarm light is NOT the problem; it only tells you there is a problem, and taking it out won’t cool the engine. By that same token, if an allergy is causing your child’s adenoids to swell, you should not rush to have the adenoids or tonsils taken out. The adenoids are NOT the problem; they only indicate that there is problem — in my son’s case, an allergy.

Anyways, after lots of praying, fasting and reading, I finally discovered that my son was allergic to dairy products. Kids allergic to milk?! Who would have thought! But that’s what it was. In fact, nearly 70-80% of childhood allergies are in some way or the other related to food. Why is that so? I don’t know, but I am guessing it is all about balance. When you have too much of one thing in your diet, the balance is broken and the body’s alarm signals go off. If you ignore the signals, you could end up with major diseases such as diabetes, high blood pressure, hypertension, heart ailments, stroke, cancer, etc. So, it’s best to maintain a balance in everything, especially your diet.

I thank God for bringing me through the biggest crisis I faced as a father. I also learned an important lesson: Prayer is our best line of defense, but you cannot always pray everything away. You need spiritual answers for spiritual issues and natural solutions for natural problems. For instance, you may be a praying man, but if your house was burning, you would do better to get a bucket of water first instead of sitting down and praying about it. Prayer does, however, open the eyes of our understanding and allows for God to point us in the right direction. That’s why we must never stop praying.

Screenshot_2016-05-04-20-27-33So, does this mean that sometimes even God is powerless to help? Of course, Not! On the contrary, He can do far beyond our wildest imagination. I have personally benefited from divine healing and protection on countless occasions. I was suffering from sinusitis and a dislocated shoulder for years. I was healed of both by simply entering a place of worship — I had not even begun to pray; i just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

Um, if God can heal people just like that, why did He not heal your son? Good question. Look at it this way. If a smoker contracts lung cancer and God healed him, what would be the incentive for this man to stop smoking. Chances are he would contract the same disease again. Sometimes, God does not heal people right away because He wants them to wake up to what’s killing them. If God had healed my son right away, chances are I would continue giving him the same things that caused his adenoids to swell.

Anyways, to cut the long story short, we sleep well now. My son’s health is the best it has been in years. Most importantly, he did not lose any body parts. In my opinion, surgery is the prerogative of the busy and the rich. My heart grieves for children whose are parents are so busy that they completely miss all the red signals till it is too late. Oftentimes, these kids suffer from minor medical issues, but have to undergo major surgeries just because their parents were too busy to sit down, think and pray about what needed to be done.

This post is a shout-out to all parents considering a tonsillectomy or an adenoidectomy. Before you put your child under the surgical knife, I suggest you take a closer look at what your kid is eating. Try cutting out dairy products from his diet for about three weeks. Also, cut out processed and junk food, especially spicy and fried foods. We tried it and it’s worked wonders for us.

Last but not the least: Don’t forget to pray.


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Roll Out the Red Carpet!

My most ardent prayer today is that all children find love, peace and security in their own homes.

Although I never asked God for children, I rolled out the Red Carpet for them as soon as my wife conceived. I told my wife Sharel no child of ours will enter this world without a warm welcome from their father. I am their greatest cheerleader, one man welcoming committee, mentor, counsellor, friend, etc, etc all rolled into one.

It is really tragic that some men (and women) disown their kids and their responsibilities towards them even before they are born. I decided long ago that I would never disrespect God, my wife or myself by doing that. Children are a real blessing from God, and because they embody attributes of both the father and the mother, they are also the strongest declaration of your love — that the two of you are indeed one.

Think about it, guys. If we don’t welcome our own children into our lives, then who will? I can’t understand dudes who keep whining and blaming their wives for everything, from the timing of conception to the gender of the child.

Science has now proved that it is the gender of a child is determined by the father alone. If you give your wife an X chromosome it will be a girl; if you give her a Y chromosome it will be a boy. A woman has absolutely no say in the matter. So quit complaining and leave her alone. If you are man enough to make a baby, then also be man enough to take responsibility for your actions and stand up for your wife and kids.

How would you feel if you had to enter a place where no one wanted you? No child should have to go through that. What you want to hear instead is, “Don’t worry about a thing. Everything is taken care of. Just come. We’ll make you as comfortable as you can ever be. It may not be heaven, but it’ll be closest thing to heaven on earth. Come on over. We are waiting for you. We have you covered.”

Well, if that’s what you want to hear wherever you go, then that’s what you should be saying too.

Don’t go chasing after God, asking Him to bless you more if you haven’t learned how to handle what you have already been given with dignity and poise. If you reject your kids, you are rejecting God’s most generous endowment. And if you disown them, God will disown you.


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War & The Butterfly Effect

Five years of civil war has torn Syria apart. Countless lives have been lost, families ripped apart, childhoods snatched, the economy destroyed. Syrians are finding out the hard way that in war there are no victors — everybody loses.

Funny thing is what’s happening in Syria and Iraq could happen anywhere in the world, even in our neighborhood. That’s why we must always strive for peace. But how do we do that? Can a handful of people thousands of miles away from the epicenter of conflict bring world peace? The answer is YES.

Have you heard of the Butterfly Effect?

The Butterfly Effect is the notion that the tiny flutter of a butterfly’s wings can cause a tornado on the other side of the world. In other words, if you change even the smallest of life’s details, you completely change its outcome. That means everything we say and do can affect our surroundings and the world at large for either good or bad.

Consider Jesus, for example. Jesus was just one man. He spent his whole life in and around Israel, moving within a 200 km radius. Yet, what he said and did 2000 years ago has affected billions of lives across the centuries and continues to do so to this very day. 

By that logic, all of us – even you – can do your bit to bring increase peace. Yes you — as small and insignificant as you may think you are — you can bring world peace.

How?!

Start with your OWN home.

Try your best to keep your spouse, your kids and parents happy. Love your wife and remain true to her. Respect your parents. Be nice to your kids.

Your spouse and kids will carry the ripple effect of what you achieved at home to their workplace and school, positively impacting the people they hang out with. You can start something good at home that will circle the globe several times.

Be good, do good. If all of us did just one thing to make our home a happier place, we would not have any wars anywhere in the world.

War looks good in movies, but sucks in real life. That’s why the Bible exhorts us: “never pay back evil for evil. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. (And) if possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” (Romans 12:17,18). It commands us to “make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; (for) without holiness no one will see the Lord.” (Hebrews 12:14)

What goes around, come around. If you do not strive for peace, you WILL reap war and everything that war brings – death, desolation, poverty, misery. Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7).

So, if you really love your family, your wife and kids, and you want them to be safe, strive for peace. Remember, great wars start from little wars — often kindled at home. Great peace also starts at home — often with a smile.


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Spot the Right Guy; Marry Him

2015-09-04-17-03-17-1If you are dreaming of marriage and happily ever after, choose a righteous man (someone who really loves God) over someone who is just plain religious. Confused? Let me sort this out for you.

Men who make a great show of their religion are usually also very obtuse, fanatical and obstinate – not to mention boring. (Think Pharisees, the ISIS, the other right wing terror groups and you get the picture.) Such men are willing to kill and be killed for their religion. You don’t want to be stuck with someone like that.

A man who really loves God will love everyone made in His image. He has no issues with anybody. He has no enemies. Such a man avoids conflict and is actually a peacemaker because He realizes that God can fight his own battles. He understands that God is sovereign and does not need a man’s help to accomplish anything. His happiness is rooted in the confidence that if God wants something done, He can get it done all by Himself. He therefore gets out the way and let’s God handle His business.

A righteous man understands that God is looking for spiritual fruit NOT religious nuts. So, he stops acting like he has the last word on God, he stops advising God about what should be done, and instead focuses his energies on what God expects a man to do. He busies himself doing good, helping the poor, feeding the hungry, and above all caring for his wife and family. He is thankful because he knows life is a gift and he values it – not just his own but also the life of others. He lives to the fullest and enjoys every moment.

If you find a man like that, marry him.