If you are a single guy waiting to get married soon, this post is for you. If I could go back in time and speak to my younger self, this is what I would tell me.
GET YOUR OWN PLACE.
When you get married, you’ll need privacy. You may have your own room at your parents’ place, but that just won’t cut it anymore. You need your own house to be your own man, to do your thing, to say what you want, to argue, to laugh out loud, to have long conversations with your wife until 3 AM, without bothering about your siblings, aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces and all the other people in the house.
Even the Bible advises men to leave their parents’ house and cleave to their wives. But it’s not just Biblical, it’s practical. You cannot cleave until you leave. You cannot be the man of the house, the head of your family and be your mamma’s boy all at the same time.
Having said that, some guys take that scripture to the other extreme and completely abandon their parents. That’s not biblical either. You need your own place but you also need to take care of your parents.
Frankly, leaving your parents’ home is the hardest decision you will ever make, but it will be worth it. In any case, I am not trying to hard-sell this to you. If you are still not convinced, don’t fret about it. Do your own thing, bring your wife home to your parents’ place and give it a few months. Chances are you may find out real soon why God said get your own place. 🙂
GET A CAR.
I love bikes. I ride mine every chance I get. I love walking too. I am not asking you to get a car so you can be hip. But once you have a kid, you’ll quickly realize that bikes and babies don’t mix.
On second thoughts, crowded trains and buses won’t cut it either. Plus, it will be hot some days, and some days it may rain. A car is your safest bet when you are travelling with family. Unless, of course, if you decide to leave your wife and kids home for months together. That has the potential to backfire like crazy too.
Most women like to go out. Just because she’s had a kid doesn’t imply she has to remain cooped up indoors all day for weeks on end while you fly all over the place. In fact, I suspect being cooped up for weeks on end is what causes post-partum depression.
Frankly, most women love to be home with their kids, but that’s not the only thing they love. Everyone needs a break from the monotony every once in a while. And when I say break from the monotony I don’t mean expensive holidays. Oftentimes, just a drive around the block for a little change of scenery does the trick.
But you’ll need (you guessed it) your own car to take that drive, or make that dash to the ice-cream store, or the grocers, or the nearest mall for some retail therapy. Go for one good car, invest in regular maintenance and then drive it to the ground.
BUILD AN EMERGENCY FUND.
Figure out how much you need to live off comfortably for a month. Then, multiply that by 12. That’s your emergency fund. Put that much in the bank and forget about it. You should dig into that fund on a “rainy day”, when you really need to. This is not the fund you go to when you need shoes for a wedding. This is for crisis (although I am sure you won’t have any). But just knowing you’ve got a little something stacked somewhere is very comforting.
Well, that’s it. If you’ve got these and a few other things going, you are almost ready to get hitched. :)👍