God is the author of marriage. And as long as you set your benchmarks about what marriage ought to be based on what’s going on in the world, you’ll never get it right.
In His wisdom, God gave married couples two basic instructions: Wives, submit to your husbands. Husbands, love your wife as you love yourself. (Ephesians 5)
The reason most people break out into a rash and can’t get anything out of that text is because they get fixated on the word “submit” without understanding what it truly means.
By saying “submit”, God is not suggesting that you ought to act like a slave. That’s the devil trying to twist things up in your mind to keep you from seeing the light. What God is really suggesting is that you should love and reverence your husband to such a degree that anytime you want to go to the store and your husband says, “I think it’s better we stay indoors”, you should calm yourself down and say alright, “Let’s stay home if that’s what you want to do…coz wherever you are that’s where I want to be.”
God also challenges the husband to love his wife such that anytime she wants to do something he is not too eager about, he should not get his knickers in a bind and beat his wife up emotionally…or physically. Rather, he should say: “Alright, sweetheart, if that’s what you want to do today, then that’s what we’ll do.”
God wants us to understand that marriage is about love and sacrifice. Every time you crucify what you want to do and what you want to say on the cross and calm yourself down, you are making a sacrifice.
Every time you want to yell at your spouse and kids, but then you say: “No, I will NOT lose it today,” you are making a sacrifice. And that sort of sacrifice is acceptable to God, for it rises up to Him like sweet smelling incense.
By choosing to shut yourself down, you are essentially saying to your spouse, “You are important to me.” You are expressing love. And marriages that are predicated on that kind of love last forever. God is the author of marriage. You can do it His Way or take the highway.